Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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