i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize