the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
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You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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