please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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