He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize