the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize