she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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