Where did you get a picture of my penis
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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