my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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