even my farts smell like vagina
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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