i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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