The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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