I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He shit in the fireplace
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