Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize