I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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