I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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