He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
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I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize