Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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