Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize