My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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