I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize