She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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