Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize