I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize