dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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