I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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