yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize