I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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