My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize