saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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