great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
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He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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