the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize