I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize