I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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