my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
it's like iHOP with fire
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
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Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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