Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize