You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize