Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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