It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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