You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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