I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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