I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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