Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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