I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize