I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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