I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
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SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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