Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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