how can u be prego again
it hurts more in the daytime
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize