She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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