dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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